Rebirth PT1

Posted on Fri Oct 2nd, 2020 @ 7:04am by Captain Rhenora Kaylen & Chief Petty Officer Remal Kajun

Mission: Diplomatic Masquerade
Location: Starbase 234 Holodeck

With the crew on leave for the next day or so and the Liberty in the hands of the Starbase repair crews Rhenora looked forward to a few days off. Enjoyably off rather than confined to quarters without coffee. She sent a message to Remal, advising him that she had booked the base’s largest holodeck for a few hours so they could unwind. If he wanted to. The dynamic they shared was still a little odd. They were still married but were only just beginning to rediscover their feelings again and working out how they were going to make their new lives work.

She left the Liberty in casual attire, a casual pair of loose pants that fell softly to her ankles and a top with spaghetti straps that showed off her shoulders yet hid everything she was still ashamed of. She still ached after the sparring session with Savar the day before, but soon the muscle soreness would fade. There was an ornate bracelet on one wrist, the one Remal had given her years ago when he proposed. She used to wear it religiously under her uniform. When had that changed?

She meandered through the shopping precinct of the Starbase, losing herself in the comings and goings of the people there. It felt nice to not be noticed, to not have to be ‘The Captain’, for a while. She was just a woman who felt like shopping and taking a small vacation.

A short but well priced bottle of fortified liquor was acquired by a local merchant. He claimed it to be the best port this side of the galaxy. Rhenora very much doubted that particular fact but bought it all the same. She had a hankering to revisit the past. To lose herself in the memories and hopefully find new ones.

The holodeck opened before her, requesting a program be opened from its files. Kaylen slipped a small chip into the card reader and waited for the program to load. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting the program take effect before opening them to admire her handiwork.

The towering peaks of Mt Cook soared above her, snow capped peaks dancing with the clouds at their highest point. A mountain lake glistened nearby, it’s water gently moving with the afternoon breeze. The trees themselves whispered with mild movement, as though caressed by mother nature herself. Set high up on one of the hillsides near the lake sat a chateau, accessible only by walking along a narrow but beautiful boardwalk. At one time it wouldn’t have challenged her at all, but this time Rhenora realised just how much she had aged, how much physicality she had lost over the last few years. Whilst far from being punishing the walk was definitely not as effortless as it used to be.

The door swung open at her touch, heavy with timber and metal. The hinges protested only slightly at the movement. Inside the smell of freshly cut wood, leather and a tinge of warm smoke as the fire crackled away merrily within the confines of the open fire. It was just as she remembered it. They’d come here before they had been married, spending several days tucked into the wilderness and simply being together with all that it entailed.

Rhenora collected two glasses from the expansive timber kitchen, retreating to the large leather sofa next to the fire and setting the bottle next to the glasswear on the small table. The fire warmed the port impressively, letting a lingering aroma fill the air. She couldn’t resist but to take a sip, letting the slightly rough liquid linger on her palate before sliding down and warming her belly from the inside. Last time she had sat on this couch, she’d been a Rear Admiral, newly promoted with the universe at her feet. Within 12 months all of that had come crashing down. Her husband, her career and her beloved starship all gone within the space of a few months.
After some time wallowing in self pity she had picked herself up and carried on, merely ‘existing’ for as long as it took to find meaning in life again. The vision they’d shared from the Orb before their marriage hadn’t come to pass - and Rhenora wondered when she had lost her faith in such things? Her small shrine kept in her quarters had always moved with her, but hadn’t been used in years, neither did she wear her earring anymore. Was it the mundane routine of a boring life that stripped away anything and everything that made her who she was? Both Remal and Savar had commented that she’d lost her fire, lost that drive that pushed her to the limit but kept life so damned exciting. When had that happened?

Another sip of port, this one not as rough and slightly more warming, although the fire was doing a splendid job of the later. She kicked off her shoes and curled up on the couch, comfortable in body but restless in spirit. The last few days had reminded her how much she had changed, how much she had LET herself be drawn down into a mundane existence. Once again in space, with her soulmate there was a quiet determination that was starting to make its presence known. Simply being in space would exercise her mind, Savar would make damned sure she exercised her body and regained its physical fitness, and her lover would reawaken the sputtering flicker that her spirit had diminished into. This was her chance to be reborn, to claim her place in all corners of her life.

“Computer, replicate one small Bajoran shrine, dimensions 1 metre by 1 metre”

The shrine appeared next to the expansive window, nestled on a small pedestal that made everything the appropriate height. It was time to make her peace with the Prophets, to atone for her misdirection and take life by the horns.

She knelt before the small shrine, palms upward and open in supplication to the deity she used to have utmost faith in. That faith had been sorely tested and diminished over the last 10 years or so. The universe in all its ugliness had tarnished the rosy picture of life that most religions thrived on. She closed her eyes, allowing her mind to drift with each breath to recenter her spirit - her pagh. It all came back to one particular point in her life. The moment she died.
Her mind revisited the event as though watching it from a distance. She had been on a planet, giving the local population radiation innoculations to protect them from the crashed Starship nearby. They had suspected some kind of dominion involvement and she had been right - stumbling into a secret lab and uncovering the true reason the Vorta had been seen nearby. When it all came down to it - greed was the usual player.

She’d walked into a trap, a Vorta and 4 Jem Hadar had been waiting. For all intents and purposes she died that day. Beaten to a pulp by an angry Vorta and his Jem Hadar minions and left to die on an alien planet near Dominion Space. Only the quick thinking actions of the Sunfire’s security chief and most exceptional Doctor had prevented her walking with the Prophets. Even 7 years down the track she still remembered the choice clearly. There had been two paths before her - one a light filled path of promised peace and serenity, the other a darkened path filled with struggle and continual punishment. She’d chosen struggle street - and always would in a similar situation. She never took the easy road, one of her less endearing qualities. That day had been pivotal. Remal had chosen to leave the Sunfire - feeling as though he were unable to continue his role in keeping her safe, she’d had her ass court martialed, her command taken off her and her crew reassigned.

Back in the present the woman kneeling on the ground drew a shaky breath, reliving the most haunted day of her life bringing its own toll on her mind and body. Trauma and post traumatic stress was something she’d never really acknowledged and most certainly hadn’t dealt with even after all those years. It was starting to catch up with her and make itself known. Her altered mental state, her lack of physical conditioning were all red flags. She would need to take better care of herself - both mentally and physically in the future.

Another breath, this time more centred as she opened her mind once more, still reeling from the last time she had done so. The Prophets worked in mysterious ways - allowing her to come to terms with her past so she could fully appreciate the now and the future.

Time passed as she reexamined her life in all its gory detail, the highs and the lows plainly laid bare as though the Prophets were judge and jury. It wasn’t a pretty life - but a life filled with struggle, torment and the driving force to make the universe a better place than the world she had grown up in. The Cardassian Occupation of Bajor had been brutal for a child, she survived and the experience shaped who she was to become. It also left numerous scars on her mind and body - truma’s she had never dealt with in their own rights. The mind was a store room, filled with empty boxes. Each experience goes into a box, but when the boxes and then the storeroom become full - the mind ceases to function properly. Only when each experience was dealt with and ‘unpacked’ so to speak could one even consider resuming normal functioning.

The Prophets were listening, a gentle touch guiding her mind to view what it needed to in order for it to heal and move forward. Time became irrelevant, the warmth of the fire and the subtle tinge of port in her belly kept her body in a state of homeostasis until her mind felt ready to return.

“Hey.” His voice low and strong rang through as though from another place and time. “I got your message, but I don’t want to interrupt if you’re busy.” He was standing in the door frame, dressed in his daytime casuals which even for most was strangely formal. Slacks, a top shirt and an over jacket complimented his attire. But the smile on his face was warm and inviting.

The voice cut through the haze her mind had become, offering an alternative to her self enforced life evaluation. The Prophets had been patient with her, allowing her the time she needed to be at peace with herself before becoming at peace with them. With their grace she pulled herself back towards the present, a deep breath and a moment’s pause before allowing her eyes to open. Sometime while she had been meditating/praying it had gotten dark - the only light in the room the flickering warm glow of the open fire. There was a voice - where was that again? She looked towards the door, seeing a backlit silhouette of the man she loved.

“ Hey...sorry I was…”Her voice trailed off almost in embarrassment. What had she been doing? Trying to find her faith again? Begging for forgiveness from a deity she’d cast asunder? Or looking for divine inspiration?

“No it’s okay. I can come back later if you want to continue.” He could see she was struggling with something, her facial expression showed a loss or longing for something that perhaps she didn’t even know what it was yet. Either way all he needed to know was, was he needed?

“ No please… stay. I need you to stay” She stammered truthfully, rising from her knees and walking over to the doorway to embrace his large form. He seemed like a lifeline in her struggle, a single voice of hope in the tangle of darkness her mind threatened to become.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.” He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and pulled her in close. It was damn nice to hold her once more. Her soft curves fitting into his in just the right way. Her soft skin and meek height was a facade for he knew how much of a spitfire she truly was.

TBC