Rebirth PT2

Posted on Fri Oct 2nd, 2020 @ 11:29pm by Captain Rhenora Kaylen & Chief Petty Officer Remal Kajun
Edited on on Sat Oct 3rd, 2020 @ 6:20am

Mission: Diplomatic Masquerade
Location: Starbase 234 Holodeck

She led him inside, guiding him towards the large red leather couch beside the fire - her eyes still haunted and downcast. Why was she embarrassed? She trusted this man implicitly so why was there an issue? A quick shake of her head as if to cast aside some demons she poured them both a glass of port, then replicated a platter of cheese, crackers and dark chocolate to go with it. It wasn’t much of a meal but it would suffice for now.

“ Thank you for coming” She started quietly, still unable to meet his eyes. Instead she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip as though it would give her the confidence to bare her soul.

As he sat down with the port in his hand he peered around at the cabin and couldn't help but feel she was about to drop bad news upon him. The lake at Mt. Cook where they had a momentary interlude between adventures which if memory served had been interrupted with an adventure of its own. Something about a peeping Tom and a freak thunderstorm. “So, the Chalet. What pray-tell brings us back here, of all places?”

“ I guess I came here because I wanted to rediscover us...and by proxy I wanted to rediscover myself. I’ve been hiding behind the uniform for too long. I’d lost myself in the mundane of everyday, lost my mind, my body and my spirit and I didn’t even know it” She admitted, finding the courage to speak her truth. It was embarrassing and she felt terribly ashamed of herself for letting it happen in the first place let alone admitting it to the man whom she loved.

He released his tight hold on her long enough to peer into her eyes, lustrous and lost, had she been crying. "Well now, when we are lost, what better place to start, than at the beginning?" He smiled realising that for him a piece of her had always been with him and therefore he never felt truly separated but for her it might be different. For her it was a loss that began a spiral of other losses and now she was trying to begin anew. "So where would you like to begin?"

Her eyes were downcast again, tracing the rim of the glass with her finger before letting her gaze get lost in the eternal flickering of the fire.

“I don’t really know” She admitted sadly before looking him in the eyes again. “ I used to love life, to take whatever the universe threw at me then make it beg for forgiveness. I think that all changed with that damned Vorta. I wasn’t invincible anymore. I could die, I did die. I didn’t appreciate how hard that was for you and it was damned selfish of me. I’m sorry, I can only ask your forgiveness.”

He thought back to the incident which he had considered to be the final nail in their coffin as a couple. After everything they had been through, that moment had destroyed him. That moment had left him a hollow man and he had worked for so long to block it from his mind. And now it was back and worse, she was blaming herself for everything. He beckoned her closer. First and foremost there was nothing to forgive.

She scooted closer and snuggled into the warm embrace, the feeling like a security blanket that made her feel safe and protected. It wasn’t often she asked for help in any matter, or to even admit she needed it. At her most vulnerable she needed it though. Strip away the bravado, the ego and the audacity and there was a woman who simply wanted to be loved and do good in the universe. “I have missed you so so much”

The tears fell unbidden from her lashes, as though a dam holding back the tide for too long had finally yielded under the pressure. It was a release of mental and spiritual anguish that only came from an acknowledgement of the past and the consequences of her actions. She clung to Remal as though he were the only hope of keeping her head above water when the ghosts threatened to drag her under. He was her rock in more ways than one.

Sometimes there are no words needed to comfort those who need it. Sometimes the words are not enough. He did what a husband is supposed to do, he simply held her close in the warm firelight as the logs crackled and popped. Her presence was enough to ease his soul and in return he hoped to return the gesture. He allowed himself to rock like one does with a newborn, as a way to ease the pains of a still world.

The ghosts of the past withdrew and the sobs slowly diminished, followed by the ragged breathing of one who was utterly mentally spent. His arms were still around her, a comforting rocking that soothed her soul and reminded her that she was never alone. He said nothing, allowing her the space and time she needed to regain what was left of her dignity.

“I’m sorry, that was unexpected” She admitted, finally opening her eyes and falling deeper in love with her protector. The once mighty was now broken, a shattered mess of her former self that needed just for a little while to experience what being utterly broken and vulnerable felt like. Only at the point of the most deepest, darkest despair, could the healing begin.

"Actually. I don't think that was completely unexpected. Considering the life we lead I would garner, completely expected." His voice of reason and understanding was meant to show that she was not alone in her despair. He never wanted to let go, not now that he had found her once more. He had once vowed to remain by her side, in front of their friends and under the guise of the Prophets themselves.

“Why do you always make so much sense?” Her voice was smaller than it used to be, but there was a hint of lightness that hadn’t been there previously. She remained safely tucked deep within his arms, as though almost melding with his form as molten wax did to a candle base.

He could only shrug his shoulders. Years of study and practice had led him down a road of personal experience in understanding. Making sense of things however took patience. Making sense of his wife took everything he had sometimes but it started with listening. He knew he could talk term paper length about the healing quality of tears and the act of simply crying it out. But he also knew that sort of conversation usually brought tears of a different sort.

Spent from years of denied emotion finally being dealt with the woman remained still for some time. Simply breathing, regaining her spiritual equilibrium. Some time later she slowly released her death grip, realisations that things were never going to be the same starting to dawn on her. There was a fundamental shift in spirituality and mental focus that was being undertaken.

“ I think we need to revisit that Orb next time we’re on Bajor - I have questions, so many questions” She said softly, finally righting herself but still close to his warmth. “ The vision we were shown hasn’t come to pass.” The unspoken word was children. Now in her 50’s without the help of medicine her childbearing years were well behind her. That ship had sailed without her even realising it. So much had slipped through her fingers over the last few years and she was only just beginning to realise it.

“ Thank you for coming back, for accepting who I am, warts, tears and all” Acknowledgement was the first step, then rebirth and healing. Gratefulness for the good in her life, acceptance of the not so good. His arrival had sparked this crisis, and from it a new beginning.

He could only chuckle for he had his own flaws, but right now she was what mattered. Her health both physical and mental, were his standing focus. But she brought up the Orb, an object which had shown them the destruction of the Sunfire and a possible death of not only their life but also of Bajor. It had also shown children in their future, but that was all before. Something had changed.

"About the Orb, are you certain you want to revisit the idea of a flawed future? I only ask because during our time apart I studied that prophecy until my mind ached and all that I realized is there are so many possible futures and ours had changed. Something about our life changed and therefore so did our future." The possibilities were numerous but he firmly believes it had something to do with either himself leaving or the one known as Jenna Ramthorne.

“There’s the conundrum.” She admitted openly “Was it a possible future, a probable future? The Prophets know all so how could the future be different? “ The questions had torn her apart and was one of the reasons her faith had slipped. “Could we have interpreted what we saw in a different way? Was the image of children a pseudonym for looking after the crew of a starship and keeping them safe?”

"Maybe we should have sought out the advice of a sage to aid us in our interpretation. At the time I was so elated that they had so welcomly given their blessing that I didn't think beyond." He pondered the ways in which the Prophets work and the tears they shed in light of mystical Orbs.

“The Prophets have always worked in mysterious ways, ways in which I could never understand” She shook her head sagely “Yet strangely enough I feel drawn back to it now, as though they provide a sense of the greater self and greater whole”

He had his doubts knowing from experience the Prophets rarely provided a better understanding Usually they only provided more confusion. The idea she had been drawn back intrigued him however, as he too had felt a pull of sorts. His led him to her and of hers was leading to the temple and the Prophets, who was he to judge.

"So. I did interrupt something important. I am sorry. Perhaps our coming back together has had more of an impact on the universe than we realize." He patted his stomach. "Either that or we've had too much port." He let out a little belch, breaking the mood all together.

The bottle was empty, the platter had also been reduced to a small smattering of crumbs. It was late in evening but Rhenora was comfortable.

"Too much is relative" she scoffed, content with the smiled fuzz the alcohol had filled her mind with. It calmed some of the emotional angst she had been dealing with.

"I felt drawn to meditate and commune with the Prophets, I don't know why but I felt I had to. They are wise if not damned mysterious. They did draw light on some corners of my life, our life, that needed acceptance and forgiveness." Her words were more confident this time as her mind processed the experience. "I felt they want us together"

"And I have never felt otherwise. Even during our confirmation experience do you remember, they questioned whether or not our union would pose a threat to some plan, but it was our choice that persuaded them that we belong together. As far as I'm concerned I've never doubted that fact. If you are questioning their reasoning then by all means, let's go before them and question them again. We may or may not get the same answer but I perhaps we can have a sort of reaffirmation that we are where we belong."

He gave her a half warm smile, his nose hot from the port. He ran his arm down hers landing on her bracelet he had given her to match his own. It made his heart warm knowing she was wearing it again. "This is my proof that we belong together." He momentarily held his hand on the bracelet, then ever so slyly traced her arm from wrist to shoulder stopping only at the tiny strap that held the shirt in place. He could tell she liked the touch by the goose bumps that rose on her skin.

His touch awakened feelings she hadn't experienced in years, her skin tingling and heart beginning to race. Her hands found the overcoat and pushed it from his large frame. He had aged since she had last been with him, but time had been kind. Firm muscles were beneath the soft fabric of his shirt. He had kept himself in shape.

"It's been too long since we did this" she whispered, her voice rough with emotion and a hint of port. She brought her lips to his and reaffirmed her decision to make this relationship work.

Like a shock to the heart, his body tingled from pore to the tip of each of his individual hairs. He hadn’t felt this fire in so long he had almost forgotten what it felt like, butl like any hot blooded mammal he knew what it could mean. She released her kiss grip upon his lips just briefly enough to give him a look. He remembered the last time they were in this cabin she had taken the lead. This time would be different. “Too long.” He replied. “I know another therapy session we can try though.”

With her small frame still clutching her chest, he wrapped his arms around her bottom and stood up from the couch. He then gave her a devilish grin and carried her into the bedroom, kicking the door shut as he passed. Five years of pent up, raw emotion, Remal now readied to be uncaged. This time he would show her what she had been missing.